Where to begin…
Okay, i guess the very first thing i need to reiterate is – I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WEB SITES (well, i don’t know anything about a lot of subjects, but that’s another entry). As i have said, countless times, i am a complete dinosaur when it comes to computers and anything that remotely resembles the field of technology. I still use a cell phone that ONLY makes and receives calls (technically it has a few games, but i never play them). My original 22 year old microwave continues to reheat leftovers in the kitchen. I still have the turntable i used in college (and trust me, that was ages ago). And when my time comes – they will have to pry a real printed book from my cold, dead fingers. So, all that being said, when it was suggested i needed to have a web site – as a means of showing my work and generating more income – i was understandably reluctant. I believe i swore, stomped my feet and pouted. There was probably crying involved.
I didn’t even know where to start ( and everyone i knew, who had web sites, said some friend of a friend designed theirs so they didn’t know anything about the process either). Time dragged along but eventually, thru a series of cosmic forces, random events, coincidences and fate i was introduced to some folks who DID know about the care and feeding of web site technology and thru some magical, alchemic process known only to them, my web site was born. And it was good.
And all was well for the next two years or so. The site ran itself and i just called my Web Wizard to make whatever changes and up-dates were needed. I never did any hands-on work to the site myself (i don’t do my own brain surgery after all – that’s what Sorcerers and Alchemists are for) and so i never had to know the technical, behind-the-scenes stuff that makes these things work. You know – all those binary code, zeros and ones, algorithms. Ah, but such is the hubris that legends (and special effects-ladened mythology-based film remakes) are made of. “Release the Krakken!”
One fateful day, my Web Guy Superhero did not respond to the bat signal. The red phone went unanswered. The green lantern grew dim. The Fortress of Solitude was padlocked. All i heard was the sound of crickets, and the theme from JAWS. In other words – my tech guy was gone. Sucked into a vortex or the Witness Protection Program along with all the access information to my web site. Oops! That can’t be good. Needless to say i felt like a bigger doofus than usual, but i hadn’t known enough to know what i needed to know – if you know what i mean – so i never realized there was some important information i should have had from the start … and now there was no way to get it (cos when super heros disappear they’re very hard to contact). All seemed hopeless and i went thru all the stages of loss (pause now for the angsty bridge part of the story to let the tension build)…
… Then, suddenly , like Gandalf and Eomer spilling over the crest to save Helms Deep (oo, oo – or that cool scene where Pippin lights the beacon at Gondor and all the bonfires start igniting to summon the Rohirrim of Edoras) there was hope! A new hope as it were, in the form of another Jedi Master Web Wizard who – with his team of Justice League tekkies, side-kicks, companions, and Padawans – wielded their collective creative powers (broomsticks carrying buckets may also have been involved) and saved my former web site from oblivion. The only casualty of the War of the Web being the original name of the place – “Laurie Klein Art” was no more. But what’s in a name? A site by any other name would still look as neat wouldn’t it? Certainly be a lot cheaper than starting over from scratch that’s for sure.
So out of the ashes (place reference to the Order of the Phoenix and Stravinsky’s Firebird Suite here) a new and improved web site emerged. “We can make it better than it was before” (couldn’t resist a nod to the Six Million Dollar Man). Laurie Klein Arts (just add an “s”) Dot Com was born – again. Or reborn. A little older and a bit wiser. Spiffed up, polished off, and once again open for the business of sharing the art and illustrations, books, murals, and occasional irreverent commentary of Laurie Allen Klein.
And to those very nice folks who have posted comments asking for advice concerning WYSIWYG editors, manual codes with HTML, server information, or protecting original pieces from being stolen, downloaded, infringed or plagiarized – i have not been ignoring you… i just don’t know the answers (as i believe this little tale clearly demonstrates). Even now, i still “rely on the kindness of strangers” (Streetcar Named Desire) and i still don’t know enough to know what i need to know… but i’m getting there. And you are all more than welcome to join me on the ride.
So – Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy night (All About Eve). Hold onto your butts (Jurassic Park). And – Everybody, remember where we parked (Star Trek IV: The Journey Home).
Hi you, Just remember, all of those sorcerers and wizards think you are wonderful! None of them can command a Tardis or wield a pen the way you can. Even the wizard who fell off the earth and was eaten by dogs always thought you were great. And do not hesitate to forward questions about HTML, or other silly things like that to myself or to your current tech ninjas. We are ALL here for you. Except Mark who is over there… somewhere…